Feeling Lost..

“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together”

Ever feel this way? Lost and don’t where your life is headed? Well if I’m completely honest I felt like was all set and ready for everything. On top of it all and nothing can bring me down. Well now I have to admit I was too naive for my own good. It turns out I didn’t pass that AP exam I taken back in my senior year of high school or have I passed any.. All of my friends have made such exceptional scores and even their ACTs and SAT scores prove me right.

While I admit it hurts my pride a lot, I’m genuinely happy for my friends. In fact the only reason I feel down now is because I wish I could be as smart as everyone thinks or meet my own standards I’ve set for myself. It’s a bit depressing to think about and quite frankly I realize I’m beating myself over nothing.

There’s no changing what has already happened and I should just try harder and if the same results occur then I just have to accept it and move on. Perhaps I’ve grown a bit bitter because of these turn of events but I can’t always dig my feet deeper into self-pity.

I know there’s a lot of things that life can’t measure for you. Your self-worth, self-esteem, kindness, how genuine feelings your feelings are, how big of a heart you have, or how charitable you are to name a few. Society doesn’t seem to understand numbers and words don’t mean anything unless you let them which I did. But my life is my life not anyone else’s and so I shouldn’t wasting it comparing it to others or drowning in unfortunate events. I’ll create my own events and start my own history. I’m pretty dead set on writing a book as of now. Hmm who knows? I might start it off with my morning jog and new bank account going well only to go home and be disappointed at my scores but how my story ends I have yet to know.

Life is only starting. No tears are wanted.

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