Homesick

“I miss your stupid face.”

The first thing you think when entering a university. What is it? Is it I’m excited or I’m scared or even I’m finally free! Well honestly speaking I was all three. I’m excited to get to know my teachers, experience college life for myself, and meet new people. Coughcough. I’m scared of how I’m going to pay for college and what was in store for me. I also felt free, free at last-away from loud cousins and relatives and away from people who would never remember who I was after high school.

College to me, to put in the simple terms is a frighteningly expensive but worthwhile experience.

However don’t let it discourage you because personally I cried once or twice the first two weeks of college and for me to cry at such a petty thing seemed a little too surreal for me and I began to miss home, and miss the comfort of just being around those who made me such amazing food.

Here’s one thing that gets me the most. It’s the fact paying to go to college is not fun and is quite a chore and honestly no matter how many scholarships I apply for, I could never get one to go through for me. This proved true during a recent assembly today. I fell into a big funk because joining the choir was a must for me but all I’ve felt from choir now is self-doubt and pity. All over I feel dark and depressed but I didn’t want to dwell on what I couldn’t do about it but focus on what I could.

I took out more loans than I would’ve liked but in the end I don’t even know what ends up happening to me.. All I can hope for now is to see some light in my future and I still have hope so let’s see where that gets me.

But on the brighter side of things I’ve attended Culture Fest and met some amazing people some really really nice foreigners. Coughcough.. .

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