Dear stress, let’s break up. -anonymous
I started out this last article as though I was in pain and dwelling in the problems I might have created for myself in the deep corners of my mind and now that I debate everything in my life I also wanted to add:No matter what it is that is thrown into my life, I can never seem to find the words to describe quite what it is that makes me skewer my own perspective from time to time. You might disagree as you read more and more of my journal entries however I expect nothing less from a very seemingly accepting audience. Cough cough. I honestly don’t mind being judged by you guys anymore at this point. Some people will read my posts and others will ignore my posts so I really have nothing to lose.
I can get really worked up over my own thoughts and it sure as hell not pretty and these few couple of weeks have been a little mini hell for me if I’m honest.
First off, one of my favorite on campus employees passed away and then later my close friend in my choral class. Now it would hurt me even if my choral and I weren’t close however because we were close, it hurts me that much more. In fact having choir class with that knowledge made my heart twinge in pain.
Secondly, the lady would always gives a free sample on every milkshake she made and smile through her fatigue expressions then crack a joke at me if she sensed I had an even slightly stressful day. My friend was someone who appreciated every little that you could do for her and she even went out of the way to interact with everyone. For awhile it felt like she was my only friend in my choral class and at times I still feel so.
But what I tell myself is that whether or not I believe in heaven and hell or nothing at all, I know that she is free from her upper respiratory suffering and that she will live on in my heart or really in my brain maybe mind..because she was a memory in my life that I hope to keep with me for awhile.