Silent Wishes

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” -Oscar Wilde

Don’t misread here! I’m not trying to sell you a designer or fancy name-brand perfume or tell you about some extremely steamy tv show or novel I’m read/watched although some of you may be into that sort of thing, I don’t know and I have no room to care let alone judge you either haha. 

I am however going to try to something different with this article. My goal is to metaphorically tell you what it’s truly like inside this head of mine so we can see more of what happens behind the scenes of what I put out there for you guys to see such as on my social media. 

By now, I hope you guys know I’m a college freshman who’s going into nursing and trying to find a minor to put on the back burner. If not, now you know that much. I’m honestly just like every other person you’ll meet except I may more in tuned with the people like you who are around me instead of being in tuned with who I am personally.

The reason for this is I see my life as if it were a film (through some rose-colored glasses too) constantly playing day in and day out, light or dark. The saying “through rose-colored glasses” means I’m always looking for the absolute best in people no matter what. It’s like having blind optimism for something you don’t quite understand completely. This is a romantic idea that I grew up with and I blame all the time I spent in my childhood watching anime or cartoons, cheesy rom-coms, and etc with my favorite grandma but I honestly don’t mind it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have been known to be quite bitter too and I have occasionally misread people due to the face that I have not been able to determine what they’re thinking. I admit to have said hurtful words and push my negativity towards those I hold dear to me and at one point I was tempted to break off all my connections with them.  

And as outrageous as this may sound, I myself, don’t know how I ever manage to end on a positive note in some of these articles. I honestly just tell myself, I am learning still and I can’t always run or hide from things that unnerve me and even if I can’t control how I feel or know quite how to get out of certain situations, I’m never hesitant to talk it out with a or some friend(s) that I feel I can wholeheartedly trust. 

Sometimes I may end up ironically telling them my life story behind ironic laughs or snorts and possibly binging on a lot of food that I probably shouldn’t have as the clock draws closer to midnight and beyond. Freshman 15 is real guys, so watch what you eat when you start focusing on that college education or just life after high school really, I understand college isn’t for everyone and if you’re a high schooler reading this..I find you very interesting. You are rare where I come from my friend. 

Days may drag on and on throughout the year anywhere really but I guess it’s how you choose to live every individual day you are here in whatever place in whatever time and accepting that’s where you come from or why you grew up the way you did or how you do what you do. It’s always about what you want for yourself and how practical and how open are you to accepting help to get you there. 

So I thought I might end this article with an explanation as to why I named this one, “Secret Wishes”. Well if you think about it, who we are and who we want to be can either be the same or completely different depending on how much time we spend on wishing for the impossible you know? Make it happen. Easier said then done? Maybe. But you will never truly know until you try. 

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